Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Swollen Lip

The Kiddo gave me an early Christmas present last night.....a swollen lip. I would like to tell you that it was from a fun game of "rough housing", but it wasn't. I got hit in the mouth by a flying remote control. Some kids bite, some kids hit, some kids push....WMD throws. Yep, he's my child 100%.

Unfortunately for WMD, this was not my first run-in with a remote control. As soon as the rectangular piece of plastic pressed my lip into my tooth I was instantly reminded of a time when Bernadette Peters threw a remote control at my face. That one, however, was part metal. And left a HUGE bruise. Oh, how times have changed. So I guess that I'm thankful that remote control manufacturing has come a lone way in 20 years.

Like I said, unfortunately for WMD the scar from my previous encounter was still fresh (or repressed). By the look on the Kiddo's face, I'm pretty sure that my alter ego - Esmeralda - emerged in a fit of rage. I would liken this character to the Incredible Hulk. Invincible strength and an uncontrollable temper followed with a hint of rationality. Luckily, I don't turn that hideous green color. Though, I would not mind the ripped physique.

Anyways, I flew across the couch so fast that all WMD could see was a blur coming toward him. (I'm sure that if it would have been clocked, not even a cheetah could have caught me). I picked up the Kiddo by his shoulders and stared at him with my teeth showing. I had turned into a full-fledged mad woman. Esmeralda flashed back to what she would have like to do when she previously in this predicament - which was throw Bernadette Peters out a window, though I'm pretty sure my mom would have grounded me for that. Muscles were pulsating and steam was coming out of my ears. I could have done it. But alas, the hint of rationality. BP and WMD are not the same person. And the intention of the action, though so eerily similar, were not the same. And, WMD is pretty cute. So to the time-out chair he went. Kicking and screaming. Fun times!

I share this story because I am learning how to process the anger and crazy-mad feelings that come out when you are at home with a very opinionated and active toddler. He tests me. Every minute. And the test is not getting any easier with time. Quite the contrary. It is getting harder. Sometimes there is so much emotion and information that my brain feels like it's going to short-circuit (enter Esmeralda).

From what people have told me, these moments happen to everyone. Just that no one likes to talk about it (or write it down). So I'm putting it out there. I can get "off my rocker" mad at my son. And there are times that I question this whole parenting thing. But bottom line - he's the cutest, sweetest and funniest kid I know. Life without him would be miserable.

So on the day before Thanksgiving here is yet another reason to be thankful. I am thankful for the part of my brain that processes rationality. For the ability to see right from wrong and good from bad. I am thankful for having WAY more great than awful in my life. And I will forever be indebted to my husband for giving me the biggest test of my life - even if it's the hardest test I will ever take. Ahhhh, parenthood, ain't it grand?

Happy hump day!

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Is it Christmas already?.....NO!

I was at the mall yesterday and was overwhelmed with the amount of Christmas that was thrown in my face upon entering a few of the stores. Does anyone else out there find this to be completely ridiculous? It's not even Thanksgiving yet.

Remember when we were younger and there used to be excitement about Thanksgiving? Now it seems to be looked at as just another big meal - the assumption that all families make these big meals more often is insane to me. Wasn't the whole purpose of this holiday to get people to be thankful for what they have? What they've been blessed with? And what got our wonderful country to this point? I guess now that our country is full of people who think they are entitled to EVERYTHING no one needs to be thankful. Just greedy and spoiled. Sad, sad, sad.

I'm going to spend the next week teaching WMD what it means to be thankful. There are a slew of great ideas out there - hello, Pinterest! We are first going to start with a Thankful Tree (or branches, really). Everyday we are going to put a leaf on the tree that says what we are thankful for.

We will follow that up with a little unsolicited, anonymous generosity. I found out about a great organization called Just Bee Generous through WMD's music school. It's a great way to teach your children that giving does NOT always have to be reciprocated. Sometimes the best thing to get in return is the good feeling of just helping someone out or just being nice. Check this out! The lady who runs it (anonymously, no less) is fantastic and sends you the cards for free!

The Kiddo and I are going to actively look for ways to express our thanks. I have made it a point for WMD to know how to say 'please' and 'thank you', and he already knows how to use them without being prompted (he is only 20-months old, so for people to say that this is something that children don't understand until they are older is just silly - your child will only learn if YOU TEACH THEM). Practice makes perfect, and the next week is going to be a great lesson for him - and me, too!

I will admit, I have gotten into the Christmas spirit just a little. But I think it's just smart purchasing on my part. Why shouldn't I take advantage of the great sales? But why do they have to be Christmas sales? Maybe a different marketing plan would work? I don't know....Nordstroms has a great policy when it comes to the holidays (taken from a sign posted at their store):

at Nordstrom.....

We won't be decking our halls until Friday, November 27.

Why? Well, we like to celebrate one holiday at a time.

From our family to yours, Happy Thanksgiving.

When you start thinking about the holidays, remember that there is a big one coming up in just a little over a week. A holiday that is a time for reflection and a great time to teach and learn. Don't skip it. Especially if you have children. This is the perfect opportunity for you to teach others about what it means to be kind, generous, and thankful.

Have a great day! Happy hump day!!

Monday, November 14, 2011

Winter's Yellow Polka Dot Bikini

In January 2009 SleepySven's family took us to Aspen, CO for an amazing ski trip! I love going to Aspen because not only do the mountains provide wonderful skiing, the village provides RIDICULOUS shopping! Take a pick of your high-end designers and they are probably represented on the main strip. My two favorite stores - the Ralph Lauren and J.Crew (they carry Collection) stores. Not that I really buy much....but the window shopping alone could fill the drawers in my dreams for years!!!

While on the trip I bought a dress that I absolutely LOVE. And....I got it in a size 6. Which means I used to be a size 6. Obviously, I bought the dress before I got fat.....I mean, pregnant. I gained (gasp!) 65 lbs when I was pregnant. And, as hard as it is to believe, I was NOT eating everything in site. Apparently my body wanted to make up for lost time - so it hoarded.....EVERYTHING!

I have worked pretty hard in recent months to finish shedding the remaining 15-20 lbs. I would say I still have about 10-15 lbs to go. (these are all guesses as I NEVER weigh myself - just go by fit of my clothes) So in looking for some motivation I pulled out the dress pictured. It still has the tags on it.

SleepySven has a work event at the beginning of February that I want to wear this dress to. And I will, damn it! So I'm putting this out there for the world to see.....or maybe just the three people that actually read this LOL!

By February 4th, I will be able to wear my brand new J.Crew Collection dress. Hold me to it.....

Sunday, November 13, 2011

New Week.....New Beginnings.....

For me, every Sunday night is like a lesser version of the night before Christmas for a 4 year old. There's always the aura that the upcoming week is going to be AMAZING! A far cry from opening gifts, my anticipated presents come in the forms of catching the Kiddo before he launches himself off my bed, getting the Pups back in the house with one whistle, and getting some part of the house cleaned and made pretty. And - if there is a BIG BOW moment - I actually find something that makes my house look less like a 25 year old college student and more like a chic, hip married lass (yep, I used the word "hip" - I'm lame). Oh yeah.....and maybe some ADULT TIME with SleepySven - even just a conversation with someone over the age of 2 is considered adult time in my book.

I sit down at the table, plan out my week of events - chores, field trips, arts and crafts projects, workouts, etc - and bask in the thought that the upcoming week will be different than last week. That everything will go precisely as planned. I will pretend to think that I have a Kiddo who likes to sit still for longer than 2 minutes, two Border Collies who won't run off and roll in poo when given "time alone", and a husband who will stay up long enough to parley with me once he gets home.

I am not delusional. Rarely does my week come close to this.....if one day goes 10% right it's something to get excited about. That's why I invest in wine. A lot of wine. (now that I have learned that skipping the wino factor is detrimental to my sanity) I have found that Trader Joes sells a great 1.5L Cab Sav for $8. Enough to keep this momma sane for at least 2-3 days. And cheap enough to make me not feel guilty for feeding my need.

I am a list maker. I have done it my entire life. Lists are everywhere - my purse, my phone, my planner, my mind. I used to follow my lists to the T - except when I was in college and always would come to the conclusion that a nap was a far better investment of time than studying. It has taken me 32 years to realize that if I don't complete everything on my list in the time frame I have allotted the world will not end. I have learned that throwing things does not make any of the list bullet points go away (though it does feel good - I'm Italian, and because I'm not a boy, punching walls is not acceptable). And I know that if I were to force the list on all around me the only person who would be even remotely happy would be me - and even that is questionable.

I write this post with only one goal in mind: Remind myself that though this upcoming week may not be perfect, in hindsight it will have been filled with some of the best memories of my life. Perspective Momma, perspective.

I hope that your week is full of more ups than downs, more highs than lows and, of course, some great vino!

Friday, November 11, 2011

Drink.....Drank.....Drunk!

It has been a VERY LONG WEEK.

And it's not going to get any shorter with SleepySven having to work a football game tomorrow night.

Today I finally reached my limit. This is basically how it went ALL FREAKING DAY.....

Family Guy, FOX

If you're a parent, do you remember the days when you couldn't wait for your baby to say Momma or Dada? I curse those days. Along with the days I sat wishing WMD would walk.....um, yeah - he's been walking since 9 months, running since 10 months, SPRINTING since 12 months. My life is virtually a world with a blurry toddler running in and out of the living room and yelling something that sounds like NOTHING I have ever heard before. Today I asked WMD if he was speaking French. He said, "No". I asked him if he was speaking English. He nodded. Smart little turd.

I can't remember the last time I had a drink. Please don't interpret that statement to mean that I don't drink. Quite the contrary. I find there to be nothing wrong with a reward at the end of the day - to celebrate that you actually made it....and everyone is still alive! I've just been rather cheap lately and haven't splurged on any adult beverages in the recent past. I am learning that being frugal should not include purchases that maintain your sanity.....like a little (or 1.5L) bottle of wine.....or a pair of new boots! Enter: Grocery Store and Mall (Momma went out tonight and got her a new pair of boots that fit her fat calves AND tucked jeans - and please? Am I the only girl with calves like a man? You can't tell me that the majority of women have calves that are the size of my arm?.....I digress).....

So here I sit. Alone. Hubby at the job. Kiddo in bed - early, because I just couldn't do it anymore! Drinking a bottle (ok - a couple of bottles).....OK - MANY bottles of Pale Moon. Luck would have it that ABC Family is playing another showing of one of the Harry Potter movies ..... really? Does this channel ever play anything else? I am curled up in my favorite chair, with my favorite blanket and toasting the week:

You think you had the best of me
Even when covered in pee
I knew the week would come to end
And a bottle of booze would certain mend
Screw you week, screw you!

Congrats on making it to the weekend, gang! Take tomorrow and make it your own. Don't let the day titles define how you feel or what you do. And if you find yourself in a moment of CRAZY remember this:

God gives you nothing you can't handle. And if you can't handle it? Drink a handle.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Movie Date Night with WMD

So with the recent onset of croup, WMD and I have been spending A TON of time together. It's a true statement to say that when that happens, he and I really start to get on each others' nerves. I'm not one of those moms who likes to sugar coat - anything. WMD brings be pure joy the majority of the time, but when he and I get stuck in a house together for a couple days we are usually both in agreement that we need a break from each other......and by break from each other, I mean I need to sit in the bathroom by myself and WMD is content with standing outside the door banging on it and crying.

Following the moments alone - or locked in my car, in the garage (car off and garage door open), I am struck with how much my life has changed since WMD became a part of it. It only takes one smile, one hug, or one silly dance move to "She'll Be Coming Around the Mountain" to make me remember that even during the crazy times, the stressed out times, the "I'm so glad God made you cute...." times, I really wouldn't want to be in any other place at any other time. Admittedly, I never thought I would want to have kids. But now that WMD is here and rearing, I'm loving life. However......

WMD and I are cut from the same cloth. My dad always said he couldn't wait for me to have a child just like me....He got his wish. Stubborn, daring to a fault, and able to find every button that needs (or doesn't need) pushed - literally and figuratively - WMD is everything I was as a child (and pre-teen, and teenager, and grown adult). These traits always seem to creep up on house-tied days. When I'm cleaning, WMD is uncleaning. When we're painting, WMD is eating the paint. When the Pups are trying to "find a happy place, find a happy place", WMD is jumping all over them (he has yet to figure out that teeth and growls means get off me). It gets tense up in here. Tempers on edge, for sure.

So after a day where there was a lot of raised voices and some crying - not only by the Kiddo - I decided that WMD and I needed to end on a good note. I rounded up the entire zoo into the car and headed into town for a long walk (2.5 miles) and a surprise visit to SleepySven at work. When we got home it was so dark that all I wanted to do was go to bed. But instead of calling it a night, I fed the Kiddo, gave him a bath and put him in his cute new PJs. I grabbed WMD's blanket and brought him back downstairs for a quite night of cuddling and movie watching. He picked one of his favorites (and mine, too), Monsters, Inc. 

At the end of the movie WMD was getting very cuddly and tired. Nothing warms my heart more than my sleepy little guy and all the hugs and cuddles that come with it. I'm glad he and I got to have our own quite moment tonight. It was so sweet to have WMD with me at the end of the movie, when I always cry.

Above my bed there is a sign that says, "Always Kiss Me Goodnight." It's a motto I have come to live by, not only with my hubby, but with my Kiddo and Pups, too. Even on the worst day, nothing makes me feel better than a kiss from someone I love. I got my cuddles and kisses tonight. And I will admit freely - I feel AWESOME!


Let's hope the awesome hangover lasts through tomorrow! Another day......
 



 

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Happy Birthday, Bernadette Peters!

Dear Bernadette Peters,

You are an amazing part of my life! Since we were little, you have provided me with so much happiness, so much love and a lot of frustration - but mostly LOVE & HAPPINESS! I couldn't imagine having anyone else in my life that could fill your role as well as you do.

BP, you were my first best friend. My first arch enemy. And my first true ally. You have been someone I could always count on to help me keep it real - even if it meant making me cry while coming to grips with my conflicts. I have been so blessed to have a person in my life who will tell me like it is - to value honesty and trust above anything else. Thank you for teaching me, listening to me and encouraging me.

It has truly been a pleasure to share this life journey with you and to watch you enjoy all of your adventures. Though many miles separate us on a daily basis, my heart will always be close - for you will forever hold a special place in it. I will always love you, respect you and appreciate you.

Bernadette Peters, I wish you the happiest of birthdays! May your travels be safe and your celebration, momentous!

Love you always and forever,
Big Bertha

PS - As always, I have sent your card late. So you will have a proper tribute when you return home.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Sick Kiddo - Croup

Do you know what Croup is? Croup, which is marked by a harsh, repetitive cough similar to the noise of a seal barking, can be scary for children and their parents. Croup usually isn't serious. Most cases of croup can be treated at home. Sometimes, your child will need prescription medication. (MayoClinic.com)

Info on croup - Mayo Clinic

I had never heard of it until a couple of months ago when WMD was still at daycare. I figured that it would be something that WMD would most likely not get since he was no longer going to be around kids as much. WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!

Here's how it all started. Sunday night I noticed he had a cough - a normal cough, like what you get when you have a cold. Monday morning WMD woke up with a cough and a very raspy voice. Monday afternoon he woke up from his nap upset, with fever and was barking like a dog. Worried, I tried to call the doctor's office. But their automated telephone answering service hung up on me FOUR TIMES when I tried to push "2 - to make an appointment". So I just drove in. (You are the only champion for your child, if you think it might be serious, don't wait for someone else to say so!)

After a little poking and prodding and one diaper-only running lap around the office, we were on our way to pick up a prescription for a steroid and a new cool mist humidifier. The nurse practitioner, who was so sweet by the way, said there's not much to do for croup except let the virus run its course. The steroids are to relieve swelling around the vocal cords and only needs to be used if symptoms get bad. I gave WMD a dose last night before bed and haven't touched the stuff since. Cool, moist air helps keep the airways open - so a cool mist humidifier is a good investment. We actually had one up until a couple of weeks ago when I dropped and broke it :-(

Just an aside about the cool mist humidifier - they are better for you and your kiddo than a warm one. My grandfather was a general practitioner and always recommended using them in the winter time to his patients. Something about the cool air helps to relax passageways. So that's what we have been using. We keep one running in WMD's room every night during the winter months.

WMD is doing just fine today. He still has a very raspy voice and a cough. But nothing that bothers him. He's a pretty resilient kiddo, so he's never a bear to be around when he is sick. Because I don't want to spread this to anyone else, we are going to be spending some good QT around the house this week.

Workouts at the gym will have to be replaced with walks around downtown (something the Pups will not mind at all).  And I have a feeling that WMD and I may be tackling some of those projects on Pinterest.

Another PS - I'm never going back to Walmart  again to fill a prescription (it's the only place to fill a prescription on my route home from the doctor). This was the second time I had to wait an extra 20 minutes (tagged onto the 45 minutes I had already waited) because they entered my information incorrectly. I will say, however, they have some AMAZING deals on arts and crafts stuff (fake flowers, ribbons, yarn, fabric, paper, vases, etc). I'm not one to shop at Walmart on the regular because I like to support our local retailers, but I will file that info in the back of my mind for future projects.

Hope your day is going the way you designed. And if it's not? Well? What are you going to do about it?

Monday, November 7, 2011

Rolling in Poo

I thought I'd start my first legitimate post with an all too familiar scenario in our household.

When the BB's feel they aren't getting enough attention, they ask to go outside.  And by ask, I mean follow me around the house, whine at every possible moment, breathe heavily or huff and puff. Once outside, instead of staying close to the manner, they run into the nearby woods and do not return back when called or whistled. Usually one dog, but when I'm lucky - both of them, not only having ate every piece of deer scat (aka - "puppy cavier") in the surrounding 200 square yards, but also rolling in it. Becoming completely covered. I have to find a way to get the dog/dogs cleaned outside, while my son watches - not allowing him to get in the water or run down the driveway. To say Border Collies aren't smart would be an understatement. They know how to get me back.

Research has told me that herding dogs do this to disguise their scent from predators, such as wolves. The BB's have no idea what herding is, so their instincts to cover themselves in some of the most foul smelling perfume known to man boggles my mind. I call this the Bath and Body Works effect - humans wear scents (ie: pear, apple, plum) that they are also guilty of eating. Who cares that no other living being in the surrounding area enjoys deer scat - to the BB's, it's a delicacy. And a sure-fire way to get Momma CRAZY MAD!


True story -

When the oldest dog was just a puppy, I had been away for a long weekend. Upon my return my husband let the pup out to greet me. The first B, made his way over to say hello and then quickly took off around the neighborhood. With my husband in tow, the first B managed to run through every yard on the block only stopping momentarily to scoop up and devour any scat he could find. This went on for about 10 minutes - so you can imagine how much he ate!

After we finally caught him, the first B and my husband cuddled up on the couch as I relieved myself after a very long trip and the game of catch the crazy Border Collie. As I sat on the toilet I heard my husband say, "Oh SHIT!" This was followed by a sound of dry-heaving. I walked out of the bathroom to find my husband, couch, rug, and coffee table covered in puke. Please recall the first part of the story. What did the first B just get finished eating? I walked in to find my husband, couch, rug and coffee table covered in SHITTY PUKE.

Now, I've never smelled a decomposing body, but I would imagine that the smells are similar. My husband was gagging, the first B was cowering and, to be honest, I was laughing my rear off. It was pretty funny - says the girl who was completely clean!

Happy Monday!