Rolling in Poo

I thought I'd start my first legitimate post with an all too familiar scenario in our household.

When the BB's feel they aren't getting enough attention, they ask to go outside.  And by ask, I mean follow me around the house, whine at every possible moment, breathe heavily or huff and puff. Once outside, instead of staying close to the manner, they run into the nearby woods and do not return back when called or whistled. Usually one dog, but when I'm lucky - both of them, not only having ate every piece of deer scat (aka - "puppy cavier") in the surrounding 200 square yards, but also rolling in it. Becoming completely covered. I have to find a way to get the dog/dogs cleaned outside, while my son watches - not allowing him to get in the water or run down the driveway. To say Border Collies aren't smart would be an understatement. They know how to get me back.

Research has told me that herding dogs do this to disguise their scent from predators, such as wolves. The BB's have no idea what herding is, so their instincts to cover themselves in some of the most foul smelling perfume known to man boggles my mind. I call this the Bath and Body Works effect - humans wear scents (ie: pear, apple, plum) that they are also guilty of eating. Who cares that no other living being in the surrounding area enjoys deer scat - to the BB's, it's a delicacy. And a sure-fire way to get Momma CRAZY MAD!


True story -

When the oldest dog was just a puppy, I had been away for a long weekend. Upon my return my husband let the pup out to greet me. The first B, made his way over to say hello and then quickly took off around the neighborhood. With my husband in tow, the first B managed to run through every yard on the block only stopping momentarily to scoop up and devour any scat he could find. This went on for about 10 minutes - so you can imagine how much he ate!

After we finally caught him, the first B and my husband cuddled up on the couch as I relieved myself after a very long trip and the game of catch the crazy Border Collie. As I sat on the toilet I heard my husband say, "Oh SHIT!" This was followed by a sound of dry-heaving. I walked out of the bathroom to find my husband, couch, rug, and coffee table covered in puke. Please recall the first part of the story. What did the first B just get finished eating? I walked in to find my husband, couch, rug and coffee table covered in SHITTY PUKE.

Now, I've never smelled a decomposing body, but I would imagine that the smells are similar. My husband was gagging, the first B was cowering and, to be honest, I was laughing my rear off. It was pretty funny - says the girl who was completely clean!

Happy Monday!