The Choice To Be Happy

This morning I was thinking about my grandpa. He was one of my favorite people in the world.....also the smartest, if I do say so myself. I even named WMD after him in hopes that he would, one day, embody the kind, gentle, and loving attributes of my grandpa.

He passed away a few days before Thanksgiving over three years ago and I have thought of him almost every day since. At the time, I remember thinking that from that day on Thanksgiving would be a sad holiday - keeping the memory of my grandpa alive meant I would always be mourning. But something happened after the funeral. FAMILY.

That Thanksgiving was the first time in many many years that the entire family was together. There are only four grandchildren on this side of my family and I regard my cousins more like brothers than relatives. Obviously we spent a lot of time talking about all the wonderful memories we had of Grandpa. Funny enough, most of those memories revolved around one particular topic - Euchre. Oh man, did Grandpa love to play cards. And oh man, did he love to tell you when you weren't playing the right way. I think all of the grandchildren regard themselves as Euchre aficionados because of the tutelage from Grandpa (otherwise known as the "Now, why did you do that?" lecture).

What could have turned into a gigantic sad event actually became one of my fondest memories with my family. Instead of grieving my Grandpa, we laughed. Especially when my 80-something-old Grandma discovered the tatoo I had had for over 10 years. Even my Uncles got a kick out of that.... We talked, played cards and ate - like every good Italian family. I think those few days went exactly as Grandpa would have wanted them - no muss, no fuss and a lot of love.

One of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite movies Under the Tuscan Sun, "Do you know the worst thing about a broken heart? It doesn't actually kill you." There is so much to learn when someone you love leaves you. Punishing yourself for things you wish you would have said only gets you on a path that leads to more sadness. And who would want anyone to live like that? Closure doesn't exist. (The only episode of Friends that I wish never aired was the one were they talk about closure - after that showed on TV that's all anyone ever wanted and it simply does not exist.)

If I were to die today, I wouldn't want anyone festering over an argument we had or a comment that was made. I would much rather die knowing that you remember the good times. Because, bottom line, that's all I try to do.

So as we enter the final stretch of this Christmas season, I can't help to think of anyone who has ever lost someone they loved. It is a hard time, for sure. Remember, the sounds in the air are always joyous if you listen with an open and loving heart. The choice to hear is up to you.

Have a great day everyone!